Lard

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LARD

 

The power of Lard


The Power of Lard (7:28)
Hellfudge (4:58)
Time to Melt (25:45)


 
THE POWER OF LARD

Lard
You can see it
In the clouds up in the sky

Lard
Floats by in clusters
In our water supply

Lard
It's all of us, man
In our pores and in our hair

Lard's
What we conceal
With these corny clothes we wear

Lard is all
Lard is divine
Lard is control
Lard whips and chains our soul

Lard-We carry credit cards
Lard-We live in fear of art

Lard is the -OM
Lard is revolution
Lard is the tapeworm
In the bottle of cheap tequila
That comes alive at night
And sneaks up
And bites your nipple

Lard
Lard

Nowadays, most of us need someone
To run our personal life
Someone to see that
The plants are watered,
Someone to make sure the place is clean,
Someone to make sure dinner is waiting,
Someone to call for theatre tickets,
Someone to make up those cheap excuses

What we need is...

Lard-The answer
Lard-The dancer
Lard-The ointment
Lard-The dream
Absorb it
Inflame it
Respect it
Molest it
The country right now just wants to be
Soothed, and told it doesn't have to pay or
Sacrifice or learn
No one is over the hill
When the mountain comes to Mohammed

Lard
Lard
Lard

Lard-We love to eat
Lard-We love to pray
Lard-Mold over mind
Lard-Hooray!

Every time I take a crap
It's a cosmic experience

Religion and chemicals
Are the key to the future

Next time we have sex
Just pretend I'm Ed Meese

The weasels have it down, man
It's a whole new age

Lard

Which would you prefer-
A computer or a gun?

The sharks out lived the dinosaurs, you know

Pity the poor trainer
In the stable when the race horse farts

Poison oak really is
The aphrodisiac of the Gods

When people are asleep
We must all become alarm clocks

Hey, man
Life is my college

It's Dental Floss of the mind
Who will babysit the babysitters?

Ever hear about that guy in New York whose dick
Fell off in the bath after he shot it full of coke?

It's OK to run out of butter in Zambia
Just smear squashed caterpillars on your toast

Waiter, there's a terrorist in my soup
Which came first- Max Headroom or Gerald Ford?

Are you a man or are you a mouse?
If you love your fun- Die for it!

And feel
The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard

Avoid everything, etc...



 


HELLFUDGE

You never know
When it says you gotta go

Hellfudge

To them cheap motels down in Baton Rouge

Hellfudge

Roll down the window of the limousine

Hellfudge

I'll pay you fifteen bucks if you perform for me(No more)

Hellfudge

I ain't givin' you one penny more
Gotta buy another TV station for the Lord

Hellfudge

Can you imagine what it's like
To have to flash and pose

Hellfudge

While a fat preacher
Sits and beats off in front of you...

Hellfudge

Same one who's so obsessed with
With anti-smut crusades (fancy that)

Hellfudge

Oh Lord,
Someone let the air out of my tires

Hellfudge

I'm stuck-with my pants down
Red handed in sin
But with money like mine
The Lord always forgives- me

When I'm dictator
You will ALL
Be under the iron thumb of Jeezus
The law of the land
Executions for witchcraft
Televised live at five

All Rock and Roll is pornography
That mixed coed swimming-PHOOEY!
I tell ya
It promotes problems of the flesh
Problems of the flesh
The flesh
The flesh
The flesh
I can't stand it anymore
My fundamentalist army's
Crackin' down full swirl

Hellfudge

Polyester suit nazis
Will control the world

Hellfudge

If you think Khomeini
Is a step back in time

Hellfudge

Just wait til I decide
What you read and who dies

Hellfudge

You think we're finished
Boy, you must be queer
We get a little stronger
Every year
When I bilk your money
I'm moral, man
But I got a little problem
I just can't say no
To that Hellfudge

So take off them clothes
Slowly now, slowly
And twitch your little flounder just like that
Yehhhh... Just like they do

In all the smut rags I pretend to hate so much
Bite down real hard
Smile...SLUT!
I own you... Look humiliated, try to cry
I despise you so much I hate myself
Mmmmmm
Tastes almost as good
As one of them green bubblegum cigars
Yeh! Hellfudge
There's a whole LOTTA Shakin' goin' on in here
But don't tell my cousin, OK?
Yeeeeh!
Great Balls 'o' Fire!
Hellfudge!



 


TIME TO MELT
Lay me down on a griddle of sweat
Lay me down, it's been a long day
Time to unwind, time to relax
Let the tension flow away

My body's weary and full of holes
Hollow jets in my fingers and my toes
Too tired to masturbate
No sound in the dark as I float in outer space

Touch down on an astroturf plain
Peewee golf balls roll by my face
Golf tees hammered through my feet and my hands
Nailed as an example again

Tied down with fishing line
Lilliputian sacrifice
Fireworks go off, I hear the cheers
Smell the hot dogs
Smell the mustard and the beer

Sharp needles pierce my flesh
Hypodermics press down and inject
20 gallons of Canfield's diet Fudge Soda
Effervescent bubbling chocolate blood

Micron by micron my flesh starts to melt
All that's left is brain and bones
Hot beams on the cool wet sand
Bury me- with the help of the wind and the waves

Submerged in the cool soil
Earthworms crawl in and crawl out
Further down is the underground aquifer cave
The bats and blindfish
Are all my friends

Soil hardens and it starts to crack
The lake is dry as desert air
Sidewinders crawl through my eye sockets
Their soft white underbelly feels like love

Blowing tumbleweeds stick to my ribs
Night falls, the sky is red
Captain Beefheart flies up on gargoyle wings
Talons reach down to take me back again

Reborn on a bed of white
Incubator filters out the light
A thousand breasts massage my face
But Life is calling to take me away
("Open up! We have a warrant!")
Learn to walk another day
Learn to walk another day
Ohm, ohm, ohm, ohm, etc.

 

 



The Last Temptation of Reid
Forkboy (3:53)
Pineapple Face (6:37)
Mate Spawn & Die (4:56)
Drug Raid at 4 AM (5:01)
Can God Fill Teeth? (4:20)
Bozo Skeleton (4:30)
Sylvestre Matuschka (3:54)
They're Coming To Take Me Away (8:28)
I Am Your Clock (15:30)
Back to lyrics menu



 
FORKBOY

A fork is a cold shiny tool
To pierce, tear and ingest
Whoever has the fork in hand
Controls the meal of its choice
We're told the first few punctures
They're for our own good
Better carved up in pieces
Than blown up in the oven

CHORUS
Agh! Agh! Agh!

Forkboy
Flies by night on stolen fuel
To Santa Rosa, CA
Opens a fake employment office
"Want a job? Go get me drugs"
People desperate for work
Return to quite a surprise
Busted for intent to sell
Cops pay him a bounty
Forkboy skips town

CHORUS

We came
We peed
We conquered
You bleed

The choice:
Fork Boy
Or finger food

Ugly joy
What does it replace?
Why wait
When you can eat yourself alive today

Junk bondage takeover glutton
Ready to bore in
Unfold his rotary blades inside
Pull the guts out and resell them
Buys out his next target
With the last one's pension funds
Thousands more thrown out of work
So Leona won't have to settle for a mint

Forkboy
Picked by the FBI
To be the black pied piper
After Dr. King died
Watches soap operas on TV
While 6 billion disappears from HUD
Who are you working for
What did you hope to gain
Why do you hate your past
So much you destroy the ones you love

Forkboy!


 


PINEAPPLE FACE

Red alert from the Dairy Queen
To Vatican from Panama City
Yeh...yeh...

Calling Pope John Paul, ole buddy, ole pl
Hey-lemme crash at your place for a while
Yeh...yeh...

I know I've shot your priests full of holes
But you forgave the guy who shot you

I'm being persecuted, man
Let me in, let me in
Yeh...yeh...

Voodoo priestesses and interplanetary crack
I shall be released, thanks to my red underwear
Dignity battalions terrify and rule the streets
Pictures of the Smurfs tattooed on the sides of their jeeps

When the mouse that roared
Bites the elephant that feeds
Ringmster cracks
20,000 whips
Yeh...yeh...

All I did was double-cross the CIA
G.E. and Lockheed do that every day
Yeh... Aw yeh...

The Gringoes siezed all my pottery frogs
And teddy beaars dressed in cammo fatigues
The Hitler poster by the Christmas tree
Save me, Tipper
They're blasting Bon Jovi at me
At me

Voodoo priestesses and interplanetary crack
I shall be released, thanks to my red underwear
Sex with boys and girls in my chopper high in the sky
When kinder gentler bombs
Explode in thousand points of light

CHORUS
Cara de Pina-Muere! Muere!
Cara de Pina-Muere! Muere!
Corrupto! Asesino
Asesino!

The Place is surrounded
I can't get away
Even sent the Stealth bomber
Just to prove it'll fly
For Yankee teen anguish
Use Pineapple Face
As American as where Coca Cola got its name
Yeh...oh yeh...

I promise, monsignor, you can trust me
I'll even goon tour with David Crosby
Yeh...yeh...
"Forgive me, kids, drugs ruined my life"
I'll even tell 'em condoms make you go blind
Yeh...yeh...

Bloodthirsty cries of the people outside
Bloodthirsty cries of the people outside
Can't show my face, can't show my face
Can't show my face, or they'll tear it away

CHORUS

Voodoo priestesses and interplanetary crack
Hafta wonder if this guy really exists
Who in their right mind would pose for Time Magazine
Frosted thumb in mouth, slicing his birthday cake with a machete

CHORUS

Ding dong the witch is dead
More warm up in Uncle Sam's bullpen
Cartoon boogeyman to keep people scared
I believe every word 'cos the truth is too weird
Who framed Roger Rabbit
Who framed Khaddafi then blew up his kid

nothing to do now but spill the beans
Florida here I come
Yeh...


 


MATE SPAWN AND DIE

Hair by mail
Tit jobs for teens
Go broke appearing rich
Searching for rosebud in the fire

Pop stars fingers in the fans
The therapist you wish you had
Crucifix or lubricant
Government by fad!

CHORUS
Mate! Spawn! and Die!
Mate! Spawn! and Die!
My my my my...

Are those salmon upstream turning red
From shear embarassment
Came all this way up all them ladders
Without checking a map

My the farce be with you

In one corner of the ring
That cherished myth
Falling in love magically solves
Every problem you've ever had

In the other corner
Spooon size shredded dreams
The Gods must be crazy
The movie goers must be crazy

CHORUS

Wrong worm, hooked again
Mounted on the wall in my own den
I'll talk alone to a firefly
Dial 1-900-Suk-Me-Dry

You can't throw me to the lions
I'm Charlton Heston!
You can't throw me to the lions
I'm Charlton Heston!

CHORUS

Yippe ti-yi-yi-yo
Ho ho ho ho
Whaat do you really want for Christmas, children?

"...Mmmmm...
Nice place ya got here, darlin'
Sure wish the hot water worked
Gotta rinse my jizz off before mornin'
Or I'll itch for a week-"

Rarp!
Damn! that water's cold
Agh!
Eeee!

Steven Tyler
Of all people once said
"If men bled
Would tampons be free?"

Omi'god, I gottag get goin'
"Now?"
I forgot to feed the cat



 


DRUG RAID AT 4AM

Sheets off
Flashlight in your eyes
FREEZE!
Guns in your gut

Strip down
Body search
Cough up
Or stomach pump

To fight the war on drugs
You must give up your rights
You blink, you die
I hate you more than my job

CHORUS
Drug raid at 4 a.m.

Random neighborhood sweeps
Copters break up house parties
Zero tolerance for pot
Easier to get hard stuff

Costs over 3 times more
To keep an addict in jail
Than to treat those trying to quit
But no drug war funds for clinics

NO!
Stop!
Please!
NO!

CHORUS


 


CAN GOD FILL TEETH?

Don't ask me why
But I was walking down the streets
Of Fairfax, California
And I saw this flyer hangin'
On a telephone pole, and it said
CAN GOD FILL TEETH?

For a $10 "donation"
You could see silver fillings turn
To gold and other "supernormal dental happenings."
New caps! Filled cavities! Bring a
Flashlight and a mirror and observe

But wait a minute
Didn't I just read
About how the cops are getting parents
To plant bugging devices
In their kids' teeth
So if they disappear they can track 'em
Before they wind up on the backs of milk cartons
And all that

And didn't I read
That these devices can go two-way
And everything that I do or say
Is all goin' on tape somewhere right now
Planted in my cavities
And they didn't even tell me
no wonder every bad thing
In and out of my mouth
Keeps winding up on my employment record

All those fillings
All those crowns
I'll show them
Who's the boss of my big mouth

Where's the pliars
God dammit! Where's the pliars?!?
Wilma! Where'd you put my electric drill
This is all coming out now-TODAY!

CHORUS
Agh! Agh! Agh!
Agh! Agh! Agh!
Agh! Agh! Agh!

Must be some kind of conspiracy
The whole world's a God damn conspiracy
Look anywhere long enough, you're gonna find a conspiracy
Man, LIFE is a conspiracy!

CHORUS

Needlenose
Up my nose
-Agh!-
Where did all these wires come from?
How far up into my skull do they go
I pull out more and more copper spagetti

How'd my Weekly World News get all w wet?
God damn fishsticks melted again
What are they trying to do to me?
No secrets in the land of the free!

There
no one's gonna tell me what to do
It's worth eating baby food
The rest of my life
To be a free man
Bastards
Probably wouldn't understand me anyway


 


BOZO SKELETON

Here today, gone tomorrow
Don't need my self remembered
But what I help create and leave behind
Is important to me

To dent the comfortably numb
With constructive satire
Make my life one big prank
On a society I hate

all that we are when we're on a stage
Is Vaudeville jester for a day
As an old proverb sys
"If every fool wore a crown, we should all be king"

My license to make fun of everyone
Comes from knowing the biggest joke of all
Read a heaadline the other day
Clown dies from a pie in the face

Can't be on stage all the time
The public image could swallow my life
Living up to your own myth's no fun
Drives our best talents nuts

CHORUS
Bozo skeleton
Bozo skeleton
Bozo skeleton
Where can I go to be me?

Washington Stepford wives
Think we'd be Stepford children
If they could do away
With the music we love the most

Lyrics warp your children's minds
Just a minute now, that's our job
Your worst enemy's your own kids
Don't talk with them, buy our lies instead

Don't wanna hear Lee Atwater sing the blues
Got a right to sing my way too
Gagging those who tell it like it is
Won't make the problems go way

C'mon get the skeletons out of the closet
We're all clowns in one form or another
If we weren't hung up minding people's private lives
We might not be so afraid of ourselves
All kinds of drugs get fed into our heads
Who are you to legislate what's best
Never heard my music or read all the words
Is it my heart they want to ban

CHORUS


 


SYLVESTRE MATUSCHKA

Sylvestre Matuschka
Sylvestre Matuschka

One more
Buried nugget
Of the dark history
Of the darkest side of man

Austria, 1931
Hungarian hero-World War I
Businessman
Family man
"Idealist? Or just plain mad?"

To him, life must be a smash
He blew up trestles and railroad tracks
So he could masturbate
While watching trains wreck

It's a message from God
It's a message from God
It's a message from God
It is my duty

Dynamite
End of the line
Screeching metal
Injured cries
Bombs explode
Up through my spine
I squeeze
I pump
I...spray!

Six years, Vienna jail
Shipped to Hungary, then in World War II
Released, 'cos the army needs
Experts for demolition teams

Som sy that's how he died
Was he in Korea? No one knows
Have any trains wiped out
Near a nursing home in your town?

It is a message from God

Those with eyes shall see
Those with ears shall hear
A prophecy
To the enemy
The world shall belong
To the children
I've done my duty

So all you sexually totalitarian born-again
And blue-nosey horney toads
Remember this:
No matter how many books you bn
No matter how many records you burn
The seeds of fertile fetishes
Are planted at an early age

And some where out there
Some one amongst you
May at this very moment LUST
For derailing trains


 


THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY
Written by Napoleon Bonaparte (and screwed with by Jello Biafra)


Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to leave because I'd go berzerk?
Well, you left me anyhow and every day got worse and worse and now you see I've gone completely out of my mind.

CHORUS:
And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time, and I'll be happy to see those nice gorillas in white coats
They're coming to take me away ha ha

You thought it was joke and so you laughed when I had said that losing you would make me flip my lid, right? You know you laughed, I heard you laugh, you laughed and laughed and then you left, but now you know I'm utterly out of my mind

CHORUS:
And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle thier thumbs and toes
They're coming to take me away ha ha...

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house, so this is how you paid me back for all my kind and selfish loving deeds. Huh? Well you just wait they'll find you yet, and when they do they'll put you in the ASPCA you mangy mutt.

CHORUS:
And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice men in thier white coats
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle thier thumbs and toes
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha

Your home the one the bank foreclosed, You cried to me Monagamy is the way we both must live or you'll feel hurt. But, I see, I see there's someone new, your anxious poly-pure-bred coat was even gone at our place while I paid the rent, thanks!

CHORUS:
And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the loony bin with all you can eat perscription drugs like torizine, and lithium, and electric shock eels
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha

 


I AM YOUR CLOCK

I am your clock
I am your religion
I am your shotgun mechanical bride
nothing is done without my approval

I own you
I decide how long you sleep
And how much rest
You are ever allowed

I decide what you desire
I deny you time to think
I am the mirror of constant humiliation
That follows and shadows you
Wherever you go
And blocks out the light
At the end of every tunnel yo try
Be on time
Be on schedule
Always feel
Like you're always late
And need more scolding and punishment

Do not daydream
Do not dilly-dally
Do not fall behind
Wings are flapping right behind you
You know what's coming next
As I swoop down like a hungry owl
And sink my talons into your back
And drag you back to square one again
The pain gets a little worse every time
Crash
Crumple
Do not pass go
Do not collect
Your dignity and your self respect

Give up
It's over
Now time allowed
To try something you like

The bills were all due yesterday
You've failed
You're through
First we form our habits, then they form us

We dress up as someone else every day
Gingerbread houses
Fireplace surprises
What tastes the best
The witches won't let you have

These days, having a baby
Is like what having a BMW used to be
While they're asleep
Play those New Age cssettes
To transmit subliminal messages
I like Mom
I like school
I like to study
I like rules

I am the school teacher
Who yelled at you for not paying attention
And shame you in front of the entire class
And dragged you around the room by the hair
This is what happens to boys and girls
Whose penmanship is messy
Be neat, like the others
Follow orders
Obey what is put in front of you
Imagination is the ultimate sin
You can't be creative the rest of your life
Your counselor wants a word with you
If you liked school, you'll love work
Resign yourself to a job you'll hate
Get a hobby-but keep it in the garage

Shove yourself into a slot
Despise your ides
Despise your ideas
Your boss knows best
We can't all do what we want to do
Always settle for what you're told to expect
Do not take chances
You might fail
You might fail
You don't want to find out the hard way
How our society treats
The misfits who make mistakes

Bad
Failure
Bad
Failure
Homeless
Depression
Mental hospitals
Murder

Born on the cutting room floor
Die in the bin by the door
Hypothermia of the spirit
Why do people chase
So many useless toys
In search of the perfect baby sitter

"For just $19.95 and just thirteen minutes of your busy day,
You can have the full, rich experience of of parenthood
Without the mess of the real thing. It's called `Video Baby.'
Creative Programming, Inc., offer all of the enjoyment-
And none of the commitment."

I am your calendar
There is no escape
I am why you're afraid
To respect yourself
I led you down garden path after path
With carrots on a stick
I'll let you taste but never embrace
Peek in the wrong door, I slam it on your fingers
Go back
Adventure is not allowed
Go back-not allowed!
I leave you exhausted, henpecked and afraid
Never quite enough money
Never enough nerve
To reach out for something better
Than the grind you call your life

The hatch of your hamster cage is open
But guess who waits just outside the door
Stay on your treadmill
Keep running on that wire wheel
Briefcase in hand
Money rains down just out of reach
You'll burn out soon enough
It's all part of the plan
When you're no longer useful
You can finally retire
To the glue factory of your choice
Free at last
To scratch your head
Wondering what happened
Free at last
I bid you goodbye
On your own
To wait to die










Pure Chewing Satisfaction
War Pimp Renaissance (4:19)
I Wanna Be a Drug-Sniffing Dog (3:17)
Moths (4:57)
Generation Execute (5:42)
Faith Hope and Treachery (3:56)
Peeling Back the Foreskin of Liberty (5:11)
Mangoat (5:05)
Sidewinder (4:59)
Back to lyrics menu



 
WAR PIMP RENAISSANCE
Yippee Tai-Yai-Yai Yo!
Evil Commie empire's gone
Yippee Tai-Yai-Yai Yay!
Now we're the only one

Let there be peace on earth
What ever gave you that idea
Economy depends on guns
We'll have an arms race with ourselves

March!
March!
Forward to the caves!

General who's never been to war
Is like a rapist who's never been laid
Like shootin' fish in a barrel
Inner child must be fed

Deep-fry a quarter million ragheads
Into crispy Eagle Snacks
Pure chewing satisfaction
Pure chewing satisfaction

March!
March!
Ah-Ha-Ha-Ha
(Question ain't, "Who killed JFK?"
But, where are they now?...)
Who's a-gonna buy our missiles?
Who's a-gonna buy our guns?
Everyone on the whole damned planet
We'll throw in free land mines

Starve the Russians 'til a nut takes over
Put the Arms Race back on boil
As the world's population's exploding
Wars for water, not oil

Too damn many people already
Clutter land we could use for golf
Egg 'em on to bloodbaths like Rwanda
Help 'em eat each other alive

Praise God
We bropught the rapture on
Hey, wait for me...


 


I WANNA BE A DRUG-SNIFFING DOG
I wanna be a drug-sniffing dog
So I can snort coke all day long
Bite my master when it suits me
Get off on diminished capacity

I wanna be a customs man
Snoop through your stuff 'cos I can
Sneaky-peaky pry through your private lives
Stroke your panties jackin' off at lunch

Weh-Oh, Weh-Oh-Ho!
Sure beats Alpo

It's the life
It's the stink
It's the attitude

I wanna be a San Francisco cop
So I can speed and run red lights
And sure as Rodney was a King
We got ways to make you sing

We can seize everything
Houses, cars, and life savings
Keep the loot for ourselves
Fake drug charge works every time

I wanna join the Christian Coalition
So I can molest my children
None suspect me cos I've been saved
Til my stepdaughter drowns her kids in a lake

Weh-Oh!, Weh-Oh-Ho! Spare rod
Spoil the child

It's the life
It's the stink
Choose your masks


 


MOTHS
Spiral down the path
Of least resistance
Down a chute to a bed of nails
That becomes a trampoline

Bouncing lost souls
From extreme to extreme
Emperor Ludwig is with us
So is Doctor T

Technicolor stairs & spires
Fantasia trips and wires
5,000 happy fingers
Ready to play our song

Vortex recedes
All I hear and see
Echoes of my face and fears
In a chamber of one-way mirrors

Voices from the drain
Whisper like machines
Now that you're in our dimension
You'll never leave

Ahh... treasure gleams
To leash and harvest thee

Down, down to Bermuda Triangle
Sink, sink 10,000 feet below
Time to finally meet the zookeepers
We let swallow us whole

Moths
Light any flame
They fly right in

Deep in Chinatown
In New York City
Drop a coin into a cage
Chickens dance on a hot plate

Hot foot round & round
Til the wheel runs down
That's you as we view
Through our ceiling of glass

Kneel...
Al Jolson style
Please, please
Can I get a raise?

Crawl, crawl through the steaming jungle
Please, please more purple Kool Aid
Tabloid beauty corpses point the way
We're not in Kansas any more


 


GENERATION EXECUTE
I went to Blockhead Video
To rent a tape of people makin' love
Couldn't find no love in here
"It's a family store, see here!"

Settled for "Faces Of Death"
But they'd rented it to some kid
I'm tired of the same old gore
Kick Butt Cable Network gives me more

All day
All night
Broadcast live

Gas
Fry
Injection
Die

Bring the pretzels, bring the kids
Have a party, have a beer
Phil Donahue got his wish
Executions on live TV

Here's your host, Kozy Kinkwicket!
What's your name?... You're 14?
And what are you being put to death for today?
Is your family here?

What was your last meal?
Any last words for the fans?
Longer you cling to life-
More prizes for your friends

Gas
Fry
Yeh
Awright

What's it gonna be, Old Sparky?
More points for the firing squad
Grand prize, step inside
The Hundred Thousand Dollar Gas Chamber

Answer one question:
How do we teach, 'Thou Shalt Not Kill'?
The gas is rising
There goes the bell

Five minutes...
Six minutes...
Ladies and gentlemen,
He's swallowed his tongue!

Vanna applauds


 


FAITH HOPE AND TREACHERY
Disconnected, dysfunctional
Soulmates with nobody else
Sing a song for the New Ice Age
Greed has made us lonely

Faith, Hope and Treachery
Faith, Hope and Treachery
Faith, Hope and Treachery
Faith, Hope and Treachery

Children of the 80's
Values shaped by Reagan greed
Don't stick long with anything
Going gets tough, change the channel and
flee

In
Out
Twist
Shout

Everyone's scared of everyone else
'Specially who they love the most
No kind act goes unpunished
Show you care just shows you're weak

So take 'em all for what they're worth
Otherwise they'll get you first
#1 must be preserved
Friends aren't for keeps, they're for dessert

In
Out
Twist
And Shout

Faith, Hope and Treachery
Faith, Hope and Treachery
Faith, Hope and Treachery
Faith, Hope and Treachery

Years go by, get sick of games
Warmth gets repressed just like hate
Reagen children flunk out at love
It's always someone else's fault

It's always someone else's fault
It's always someone else's fault
It's always someone else's fault
Faith, Hope and Treachery


 


PEELING BACK THE FORESKIN OF LIBERTY
(Live Free Or Die
God's sounded the alarm
Dare not push the snooze button
Your favourite metalhead and mine
Child-molesting freak

Used Seven Seals to scare his flock
So he could sin
Defiled young girls beneath
Posters of Megadeth
But then...

They tried to take his guns
They tried to take his guns
Coulda grabbed him when he's out jogging
Or scamming chicks in bars

But oh no
They brought S.W.A.T. teams and tanks
Waco's a sign
One-World Government

Peeling back the foreskin of Liberty
What do we see?
Ain't God fillin' teeth
It's Jews and Hillary

Communist Chinese
Grind up orphan babies
To sell in powder form
At New Age health food stores

They're trying to take our guns
They're trying to take our guns
They treated Randy Weaver
Like a two-bit pot dealer

Shot up his Little House on the Prairie
At Ruby Ridge
S.W.A.T. teams shoot potheads all the time
But he was a Nazi, dammit

Live Free or Die
Live Free or Die
That's what I say

What's that noise?
It's those helicopters again
See 'em in the sky, they're always black
What does that tell you, huh?

U.N. troops wait in salt mines
Under Detroit of all places
To storm up from the sewers
For door-to-door raids

To take our guns
They're trying to take our guns
Feminazis and eco-terrorists
I'm not making this up

I got my back yard bunker
Machine guns and grenades
To protect myself from you
Trying to take them away

Live Free or Die
Live Free or Die
Live Free or Die
Live Free or Die

Tear down those highway signs
So the U.N. can't find me
White Shangri-La of Post Falls, Idaho
Will now secede

We'll show them
We'll show them
Damn right it's the End Times
When Christians win!

Live Free or Die
Live Free or Die
Live Free or Die
Live Free or Die


 


MANGOAT
Lotta good that P.H.D. did me
Stuck... grocery store security
Cigar store Indian
Fake badge authority
Nothing ever happens here

Hark!
Camera, aisle 5
Dude with hair sprayed on
Pocketing razors
Pantyhose... why not?
Can opener and creme corn - what?!?!

Mangoat
Too hairy
Must shave
And warn others

No foam
All alone
Gorilla hair
Must go

Creme corn
Creme corn
Yep

Poor Kaw-liga
Never got his kiss
No one-way mirrors
To lurk behind as you undress

Aye-
He's headed for the back
Singing, "The hills are alive...
With the sound of music-"
Yonder,
Lady screams

Mangoat
In my stall
Make him stop
He'll shave us all

Hair off his back
Round the room it flies
Inquiring minds
Wanna know why

Creme Corn
Creme Corn
Why

Mangoat
Come out of that bathroom
We have you surrounded

Mangoat
Clean up your hairy mess
Give up that frothy chew toy
You're under arrest

Come out with cloven hooves
Above your mossy head
Bite one more officer
You'll trade that rag for lead

Creme Corn
Creme Corn
Creme Corn
Creme Corn
Why?

 


SIDEWINDER
Snake on a dune
Sand so moist and cool
Crawls up to a ledge
To survey the valley below

Slither into town
In the velvet Elvis night
Spiralling remains
Of a garden of delights

The builders are all gone
Their monuments remain
Outlasted by what they once controlled
How on earth is this explained

Sidewind
Refine
Survive
What's left behind

Can't burrow a home down here
Old asphalt lies below
Goodbyes from the dead play on
Half-curied video gravestones

Cracked patches of neon
Flickers as the wind blows
What kind of drugs were these creatures on
To want so much it ate them whole

Aversion to detergent
Always naturally clean
Sleep all day, crush mice by night
More civilized if you ask me

Sidewind
Refine
Survive
What's left behind

Wake up in the bushes
Brush the crust out of my eyes
Fluff the dirt out of my hair
As the bright sun's beatin' down

Time to hit the road
Time to find the rain
Away from the cage where the light bulbs
blaze
Hitch a ride to another plain

Sidewind
Refine
Survive
What's left behind