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HASTE
The Mercury Lift (2003)
When Reasons Sleeps (2001)
Pursuit In The Face Of Consequence (1999)
The Mercury Lift
1. With All The Pride And Dignity Of A Drowning Swimmer
2. Evidence Of Wasted Ink
3. The Rescued
4. Houdini Has Lost His Key
5. The Death Of Stars Like The Sun
6. Room One Thirty Four
7. Aspartame
8. God Reclaims His Throne
9. Stutter
10. Force Is Always An Option
11. Revenge Tastes Like Blood And Broken Teeth
1. With All The Pride And Dignity Of A Drowning Swimmer
Dissamble me, examine every piece and then tear it apart again. My progress doesn't meet your standards, crucified a martyr. You talk so much I can't understand how those shots from your mouth can even sound fair. It happens time and time again is this all you do? So we listen to you, "It's softer, they've sold out." The judge's wait... here's to you. "It's over, they're played out." Do we listen to you because you're asking the question? You talk so much I can't understand how these shots from your mouth can even sound fair. It happens time and time again is this all you do?
2. Evidence Of Wasted Ink
Should we raise our voices just to break the silence with no substance? Bearing into this page with the weight of a thousand restless words. I'm holding on to something long since dead it's keeping me from living. I need to know just how it feels to let this go. When it all comes down you are closer to the edge than you thought you would be. It's said and done out there at the end still without you here. So content with watching, tearing down and forgetting what we are given. Given everything, not content with anything. Tied down by situations at an end and left with compromise. Compromising standards, we're only half of what we should be. Start facing circumstances, stop filling space with nothingness we're losing. Losing what we've worked for and satisfied with a dead end. It's still true. I've grown tired of the give and take, want someone who can give me everything I need. When it all comes down you are closer to the edge than you thought you would be. It's said and done out there at the end still without you here.
3. The Rescued
The smokestacks breathe like spitting out the truth. White lines disguised as fuel consumed. Under gray-blue skies we're simple machines, marks matched with greatness but tempting fate. Lines, faces, are drawn in the sand. It's better not to understand and turn your back on the city. Wine, it tastes like it did yesterday and finally you've found a way of turning your back on everything. Don't ever swing on three and two. Finding safe escape routes and saying the right things. The choice you make still affects me. We cling to this tension just to feel anything, leaving flesh for the effort we've made. Time to embrace. Time won't erase these guilty looks from your eyes. There is no disguise good enough to hide lines that are drawn in the sand. You've finally found a way. Don't ever, however. Written down in numbers and measured in waves add up to a sense of accomplishment.
4. Houdini Has Lost His Key
City streets will bleed through and I'm holding out for just whatever. Some things never come. Every sure thing every loop, and nothing to oppose. It's all in how you read between the lines. The lines are long, the lines have gone. It's all in how you sleep at night. At ease, at ease with yourself to be crucified or crowned. Making out a list of certain deaths and acrobast. A kind of call to arms. What it takes to follow through, I wonder if you'll know? At ease, at ease with yourself to be crucified or crowned. Everything for you, repeat and start again. Between every line the story will begin. Everything for you, repeat and start again. At ease, at ease with yourself to be crucified or crowned.
5. The Death Of Stars Like The Sun
The chain of events, leading up to this, has come from some unseen direction. When all that you have is what you shared, then at once you find it is gone. Go back and forth between two lines and don't leave a square inch of soil unturned. Laws of motion will kick in and my heart will leave my throat. Turn backwards, but it feels just like progress as I bear my namesake to the ground once agian. Forced to live with this. Split seconds are still moments. A daily poison that you survive on. The warm breath of life escapes us all in time but there is "always" and "still holding on." Go back and forth between two lines and don't leave a square inch of soil unturned. Laws of motion will kick in and my heart will leave my throat. Turn backwards, but it feels just like progress as I bear my namesake to the ground. Each story has two sides, here is how the victim's ends. Your parting, not how you had planned. A legacy handed down and a lifetime brought to an end. Every split second is still a moment. Our last meeting playing out...the end. Time heals all wounds except this one.
6. Room One Thirty Four
Missed every detail (just move on) but now the wait is up. I'm lying and I'm begging that it is done this time. (Could it be done this time?) "Engine" still turning, why cant we shut this off? (And it seems...) My patience is running thin. Now it seem that this is more than just our Friday nights. All familiar things left so far behind. Even if it all comes down to bittersweet good-byes, it feels like we are close, for at lesat tonight. Our temporary blueprint (is useless) is bathed in nicotine. It took a lot of mileage just to come this far (yet we travel on). No precognition, and don't make any plans (and it seems...) to walk away from this. (...that here we will stay.) Now it seems that this is more than just our Friday nights. And familiar things left so far behind. Even if it all comes down to bittersweet good-byes, it feels like we are close, for at least tonight. Holding my breath at every turn. Anticipating the end of premature regrets. Now it seems that this is more than just our Friday nights. All familiar things left so far behind. Even if it all comes down to bittersweet good-byes, it feels like we are close, for at least tonight.
7. Aspartame
Can we get back to the time when everything was simple then? "The truth is..." she said. "I thought we'd won." Each night we lay in desperation. Always think of the right words when our conversation is through. Your words on that day, I remember them so well. Don't say it if it isn't worth it. The needle hasn't reached the forties since you've stopped coming 'round. I feel sick and I don't feel anything. The bottom is the best company I've found. Steady hands. Can you remember losing out but who has won? A two-year winter and moving on. Since you stopped coming 'round. Can we get back to the time when everything was simple then? Can we get back to the time? "The truth is..." she said.
8. God Reclaims His Throne
Baptized by kilowatts and ohms, what's left is waiting. The embers rise like incense carry praryers for what is next to come. Carry me on silver wings to meet with vulcan. To be forged anew and rise again above arms of fire. Holding this common language in our hands. Find solace in the landscape. The best laid plans carry the weight of an entire season's hope. The city waits with shattered skyline for its missing hero. To lay low those beneath and cast aside the restraints of hopless inertia as winter's chill fades below me. Now we are silent, holding this common language in our hands. Find solace in the landscape. Watching, waiting, holding on to Victory's kiss. Like alloys we shape, bending ourselves to our needs. Bend with the hammer to the anvil of self. The smithy screams with exertion as the flames drive out impurities. Bend the hammer to the anvil of self. The soul screams with recreation bathed in the furnace of ascension. Winter's chill fades below me.
9. Stutter
Now it evens out between black and white. A victim of choice, so matter of factly said: "I'm working on the best two out of three." In half-time we move, lines blurring fact and fiction. We merely improvise. You wonder about the truth and which version's mine. What's wrong with losing myself in things I might have said to you? Think about it now and all those things I should have said, have trouble getting through. Just speak my peace and turn away. Somewhere it evens out betweeen wrong and right. If given the chance, feet first she would jump right in. Her heart will burn to ashes either way. In half-time we move, lines blurring fact and fiction. We merely improvise. You wonder about the truth and which version's mine. What's wrong with losing myself in things I might have said to you? Think about it now and all those things I should have said, have trouble getting through. Feeling less remembered. Losing myself in things I might have said to you. You never seemed to care at all. Just speak my peace and turn away.
10. Force Is Always An Option
We plant our teeth, as we are conditioned, firmly in our tongues. Rather than speak, exposing weakness, as our mouths fill up. I have a talent for destroying. When I touch it breaks. Now arrange the peices, malicious thoughts are motivation. Our bonds became our anchors and the water rises still. Broadcasting guilt, exposing weakness, when we wound it's real. Holding hope for to morrow, as we are conditioned, until tomorrow slips. I have a talent for destroying. When I touch it breaks. Now arrange the pieces, malicious thoughts are motivation. Our bonds became our anchors and the water rises still. Look at yourself. Take your tongue out of my mouth and speak for yourself. Cast off your anchors as the water rises still. Words on this page lie between us used, faded and worn. You will never hear what I'm saying. No matter how I scream.
11. Revenge Tastes Like Blood And Broken Teeth
Parade your black-heart, a Judas kiss laced with nicotine. With a chance to know you, some parts are best left unseen. Slapped in the face with the will it takes to love someone. A confidant or a brother, betrayal comes in many forms. Say good-bye with three words and pray this won't happen again. If you can live with yourself that doesn't mean you are innocent or guilty. "The suffering of Christ washes us clean." Give of yourself not completely. Selfish denail, thoughts words cannot embrace. Trading passion for passion and holding onto the thread that keeps us in place. Still masquerading the acts a wine stain won't erase. Wrap it up as a mistake, pretend your first time is the last. Say good-bye with three words and pray this won't happen again. If you can live with yourself, that doesn't mean you are innocent or guilty. "The suffering of Christ washes us clean." Give of yourself not completely. The deepest scars are made by the push of familiar blades. Constructing an enem with the most familiar things. However complicated we can make the exchange. Say good-bye with three words and pray this won't happen again. The deepest scars are made by the most familiar blades.
When Reasons Sleeps
1. Brand New Opposites
2. Meridian Summer
3. Confessions Of A Lesser Known Saint
4. Off Parting Sound
5. To My Last Breath
6. Engine
7. Vicki...Is This A Compromise?
8. Binder
9. Calendar Year
10. Matches Under Bridges
1. Brand New Opposites
When the ink is dry
or at your death-bed
you can damn your poison words
It seems you have run out of regard
for moralistic ideals
Just turn your head
when confronted with the truth
and hope that your new life
is all that you wished for
Adjusted the definition of loss
Is it just coincidence that it fits so well here?
Restitution comes passing through
and it won't even walk through the first door
Face north and greet the cold that times your pulse
North, directionally outright, straightforward
Face north and greet the cold that times your pulse
North, truest of all points
Points, that you have failed to make
2. Meridian Summer
Saved by reputation of a boyhood
spent with something missing inside
Deny this as a reason,
a liberation and the ill effects
Write it down in a book of lost hopes
but on this page is me
running through setting fire to everything
Passed on a set of values
bastardized by anger
repressed and pushed aside
Pushed aside a generation
This demon seed has become a family trait
Write it down in a book of lost hopes
but on this page is me
running through setting fire to everything
It has been said before
face the cold that times your pulse
North, directionally outright
straightforward
Restitution passing through once more
Hope your new life is what you wished for
Victimized with restraint
passive is bitter to the taste
It has been said before
face the cold that times your pulse
North, directionally outright
straightforward
Restitution passing through once more
Hope your new life is what you wished for
3. Confessions Of A Lesser Known Saint
Down the path of resistance
I find myself stumbling
Through my wants and my failures
Weaker than the thrill
Temptations attack our loyalty
Both the idea and institution
An equation of emotion
Too thick for calculation
But in the solution 1 and 1 are 3
So when you see me pass me by
(crossed my fingers
wish that you won't notice)
Even red letter days still end with night
In sleep we remain hopeful
Pay back to February
And heavy eyelids see plots unfold
To movie endings
Searching a bed room ceiling
Finding subtleties, finding flaws
But never answers
For what you did or what you do
I know the past still stings
But deafened ears waste apologies
So when you see me pass me by
(crossed my fingers
wish that you won't notice)
Even red letter days still end
With night and dreams
To wake and find another
So go to sleep
Turn off your ringer
(just close your eyes)
Afraid of what is left to find out
Until the daylight drips
In our eyes in sleep
we'll remain hopeful
There is nothing left to say!!!
4. Off Parting Sound
Farther off the course,
it seems we are drifting
grab at anything just
to call ourselves back home
This sea is furious
She has lost patience and thus
we will sip now from our early graves
We built the craft and chose
the course farthest from suffering
Sleep now with proud hearts
and with dreams to wake
should we weather this day
Shall we brave against
the unknown obstacles set on our way
or give her up to where the winds may lead?
It seems the easy way
Moments from sinking
monument gray faces
are the weary from the strain
our wills give way to hunger
is the sacrifice too great?
As men do tired minds wander
Can our course now be changed?
My captain, we are taking on water
This ship has run aground
We have risked this shallow channel...
drowning off parting sound
The breath of Christ in me
with every toss of the waves
I've found that there is so much more to this
Comfort still gets in the way
Somehow, at the end of this
with every wind at my sail I'll touch ground
When my comes in..
"If only tired bones were made of wood"
we could say
"we could give up this endless task"
Despite the rising tide
the weather-worn ship
remains steady and upright
Set out in search of greater things
and we nearly lost our way
The breath of Christ in me
with every toss of the waves
I've found that there is so much more to this
Comfort still gets in the way
Somehow, at the end of this
with every wind at my sail I'll touch ground
When my comes in...
5. To My Last Breath
Summer with the lights out finds me
in my parent's basement
watching bedroom movies
Pictures and holidays hang in the hall
Guided by memory
Where we stand is where we'll jump from
It doesn't seem so far from finding common surface
and to still retreating hearts
Once choice turns two aside
A direction thought in common
A passing glance serving as a makeshift alter
Whispering, we confess
Where we stand is where we'll jump from
It doesn't seem so far from finding common surface
and to still retreating hearts
From the playground to my last breath
doesn't seem so far from finding common surface
and to still retreating hearts
Keep hoping for movie miracles
The windows are frames
and the scenes can change
I would have had to kiss you
at the drive-thru window
if they had their way
Where we stand is where we'll jump from
It doesn't seem so far from finding common surface
and to still retreating hearts
From the playground to my last breath
doesn't seem so far from finding common surface
and to still retreating hearts
6. Engine
Still sufficient in depending on you
depending on each other.
Engine noise whispering
through half asleep startled by
startled by headlights and loose
startled by loss pavement
As Illinois goes rushing by
I'm too tired to even try
Where will the sun come up
where will the sun come up for us today?
Turning bad days into better nights
Waving smoke out the window
catch my hand against the background of night
Dragging fingertips through constellations
When we make the last turn
when we make the last turn for home
we know half the battle is through
Still sufficient in depending on you
depending on each other
Engine noise whispering through
7. Vicki...Is This A Compromise?
It begins with a process of denying anything
that happens to you is your fault
Place blame, blame on anyone but you
Turn a blind eye as if consequence
somehow escapes you
Let your guard down for just one time in your life
would you let sincerity move you?
How does it feel trying not to drown
swimming a sea of regret
with your past bearing down upon you?
Selfish in nature, given into impulse
I've lost so much from hurting others for my gain
No way to justify, no more excuse
Begging forgiveness is a custom
I've embraced for too long
Let your guard down for just one time in your life
would you let sincerity move you?
How does it feel trying not to drown
swimming a sea of regret
with your past bearing down upon you?
Begging forgiveness from lips
that hold hatred for me
Slip a small blade between tissue and frame
Keep this as my first souvenir of your trust
Shameless damage of the skin and bone
No recourse
Wounds of character are what is killing me
Let your guard down for just one time in your life
would you let sincerity move you?
How does it feel trying not to drown
swimming a sea of regret
with your past bearing down upon you?
8. Binder
Find myself thumbing through pages...
When reason sleeps
our minds will change
9. Calendar Year
Remember our worlds much younger
focused on the goal and not the risks
More years go by and the less we notice
living in fear of any consequence
What is compromised?
Settling for security
"It could be worse" as life's philosophy means
that nothing will be any better
Trading ambition and our own confidence
I will not be measured by days
Bound for nothing
I will decide my own fate
Our expectations match the sky
but our reservations block the light
Here it comes again
First to the punch
they will decide limitations by which to abide
Define achievements by whose standards
No fear of living beyond the lines
A revolution against apathy
I will decide what progress means to me
These rules that bind me
I will change...ignite this spark into a flame
I will not be measured by days
Bound for nothing
I will decide my own fate
Our expectations match the sky
but our reservations block the light
These days excitement comes in turns
when apprehension lets me slide
Here it comes again....
10. Matches Under Bridges
Bite my lip for asking the question
"Which one of you will take up our cause?"
Selfishness bonds us like blood
Now suffer through arrows and slings.
My success is measured
by how much you and yours will gain
My pleasure, your pleasure
Rewards seem that they are yours to take
Can't you see this part of me
is something that I share with you
but this greed for what I love...
This is nothing if it's not for you
Promise me, don't fail me
When hands are tied and my eyes are closed
your faith is my resource
Does being brainwashed make it true?
What changes have you made
to show me that you know how I feel?
I'm not asking for thank you's
just asking for civility
Can't you see this part of me
is something that I share with you
but this greed for what I love...
This is nothing if it's not for you
Don't fail me when hands are tied and eyes are closed
Your faith can steady my stride when weak legs fail
You say this all comes in time but this time is wrong
If all of this is nothing then I'm content with
nothing
Pursuit In The Face Of Consequence
1. Clever Waste Of Time
2. Two Final Words
3. Irritation Persists
4. A Chance For You To Prove
5. 1297
6. Cleanse
7. The Absentee
8. Thought Market
9. Trial
10. Dredge This Wound
11. Heart Plea Story
1. Clever Waste Of Time
Instrumental
2. Two Final Words
Paint this picture
Color it with casualties of hope and sorrow
Frame it with apathy
I find it hanging on a wall
that you disguise as faith and trusting
Intent is realized morning moves my head
My hands reach to feel your face
My hands fall empty
These memories can't fill their grasps
I begin to focus on
What I always thought i knew
Vomit my feelings
and spit them back at you
Indifference fails me
From the smile behind your eyes
In effect a failure
It seems just my size
fill me inside
how I need this
feel the inside
I can't take this
I open my arms just to miss you
only you can fill this hole
so full...sick of life
I feel so old I can't change this now
please show me how
3. Irritation Persists
marks that they have set before me
stones lain to show the paths for me to take
they have no foundation to hold me
hold me under falling
I slip through these cracks
forget me, dance on me
bruises turn to wounds
I tried, never good enough
with my eyes wide open
to follow you down
follow you inside
watching you
watching you drag me down
hold me under my failure
I drown, who are you to tell me that im less?
I drown, open my eyes to see
I see you are scared
I'll make it on my own it brings you down
that I find life everyone suffers for you
you look inside
inside you are drowing yourself.
inside the fear
burns feeling is lost grab
anything as the light fades away
hold me under my failure I drown
allow me to hold on or to reach
I've reached myself you kick
I bleed, you kick, I bleed for you
4. A Chance For You To Prove
watching... (1)
watching my friends make
(2) all the things I've done
(3) you make the same...mistakes...
(1) how they make things change
(2) thought I wouldnt make
(3) that you watched me make regret...
(1) I hope I won't feel
(2) can't remove this pain
(3) the same things I do
learning...(1) from their mistakes
(2) things the hardest way
(3) things taught too late
wisdom...(1) I learn from watching
(2) that I've gained too late
(3) gained from someone else
feeling...(1) for the strength to make
(2) smarter by the day
(3) that I recognize
decisions...(1) that would seem smarter
(2) that I failed to make
(3) that I once had faced
integrity...(1) is what I strive for
(2) that I can't obtain
(3) part of saving face
...if you could see how
though time I've wasted on
I'll give you everything in time
I will, hold myself down
I will ive wasted on a chance for you to prove
watching...mistakes...regret...learning...
wisdom...feeling...decisions...integrity...
everytime I feel I'm bigger
realize I am the same
and you're knowing what im feeling
but I think I should escape myself
and watch it all slip by
and you're knowing what I'm feeling
situations I fall short in
where I thought that i would gain
and you're knowing what I'm feeling
but I think you should escape yourself
and watch it all slip by
watching...mistakes...regret...learning...
wisdom...feeling...decisions...integrity...
...if you could see how
though time I've wasted on
I'll give you everything in time
I will, hold myself down, I will
I've wasted on a chance for you to prove
5. 1297
how can I begin?
to tell you how I see this
just a name, a list
that has a greater meaning and it cries out
from a heart thats still beating
I can't change that now
God's hand, stealing
it cries out
a heart not beating its done
with now
and all for what reasons
I cannot imagine how
it must have hit you
can you hear my voice
or what im saying to you?
now your hands feel so cold
do you even know
how close you are to leaving?
I stand with this knot in throat
and you lay barely breathing
now your hands feel so cold
and it cries out....still crying out
6. Cleanse
I, I just..this will be the last time
if you leave I just want to fall...
this will be the last time
if you leave, I want to close my eyes
and imagine what is going on around me
as I fall through the sky...
this will come back to me a thousand times
the sound of the wind would cripple
the hearing of any other noise
violently I would reach the thick, gray clouds
and take a deep breath
if you leave I, ive washed away sins
from my mind
time, this all will be just wasted time
the cool air would fill my lungs
you says its hardly bleeding
I would feel the water droplets
form on my face
as I raced downward toward earth
but you can't see as closely as I can
feel faster and faster
we have all bled before
I would plummet toward the ground
we all know
it heals and goes away
it would be so cold
you can't understand why
I want it to stay chill
bumps would cover my ice cold body
thoughts of how great things change
are at the moment
and if your promise not to try
would dominate my mind thoughts
of the future gone forever...
I promise worries of what has happened
will be left in the clouds
the clouds would rain those worries
somewhere else
this time strange though
I think I hear traffic
I won't hurt you
7. The Absentee
And its felt like lead
To think to let anything else in
It is too heavy to stand
I won't push out
Please God this tears me apart
On the inside
You quit and you suck
And you are still the same
...As far as I can see
I wish to breathe
I can't take this change
I would rather stay here
With my hands gripping my throat
What now?
You find yourself on the outside?
What about them?
What about her?
What about all of your responsibility?
I find this in blood
For some...easy to walk away
I find that I can never break
God! This hurts
It tears me apart on the inside
I've quit, we are done
It seems that now youre the absentee
I still feel so much for you
8. Thought Market
sells me a way to give away
a way to be improved
I need more for my own thoughts
tear apart, the outside cultures in me
its what I need
ideas sucked away from me
its killing you
it what you need
see me, I need more of your empty lies
don't try to sell me?
I don't need this
don't try to sell me?
I won't be bought...
for less than nothing
twist perceptions for your use
your words hide intent with lies
I fall, fall back to the outside
my eyes see through these lies
don't try to sell me, reaching in...
I try to retain myself
feel myself losing, losing
don't tell me how
selling my thoughts
slaves for your use
feelings become the fuel to burn
9. Trial
eyes strain, my eyes
life spent, lost
you set yourself above
holding all in with fear
in time you'll see what you set above
on your tower on high
always standing,
laughing, pointing fingers at me
I cant feel I can't hold
I am not alive
I'm trying, trying
and I see its all the same
I look into you
nothing holds this fear
fear grips tight, tight in my mind
standards set by those
I don't know...still respect is due
I cant live by your selfish set of rules
I crawl to reach, to reach into
these words I've said
these words I've said leaves life so cold
so incomplete, so void leave life so cold
10. Dredge This Wound
I've been down, helpless, still
I come here once again
feelings lost
extinction of what used to be
dwelling keeps me
from standing on my own
selfless dissection of emotion
emotion I have left inside
dredge this wound
salt of tears, then I fade away
slips away and fades
raising eyes to see you
anger is all I feel,
missed your forgiveness
just a witness of my own demise
searching these pieces
they cut me, you laugh as I bleed
swallow contradiction
just a victim of all I have inside
this pain just deepens
I can never let go
feel it numbing me
exist around you
everything I know
I've held myself down to
held myself down
so that I will never fall
all of this I feel I pour out for you
salvation, in the release of all that I feel
11. Heart Plea Story
its the same story
the unhappy ending
I play the loser
that seems to be winning
I seem to be winning in your eyes
by my action I expose myself
I open to weakness
I fall to my own choices
feelings so far gone so...
here I am
opened for you to see
what you know
I'll determine I have tied my own hands
hands that hold these walls around
I've risked everything
now I feel myself breaking
you think I never needed
to hold anyone else?
I'm scared of losing more
you think you know me?
you think that I don't feel?
you think you what you mean to me?
you think I don't hope
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