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DICKIES
Idjit Savant 
1. Welcome To The Diamond Mine
2. Toxic Avenger
3. Zeppelina
4. Stuck Inside A Condo With Marlon Brando
5. Just Say Yes
6. Make It So
7. I'm On Crack
8. Oh Boy!
9. Roadkill
10. House Of Raoul
11. Song Of The Dawn
WELCOME TO THE DIAMOND MINE
now we go into the diamond mine nobody knows what we might find leftover licks from jimmy page parsley, sage, "rosemary" and thyme don't take me down you're gonna lose your marbles in the diamond mine don't take me down welcome to the diamond mine people tellin' me it's dark down here there's nothin' to fear except fear itself jellybeans are poppin' outta my fez simple simon says, "you better hang on to your elf!" don't take me down i don't want to lose my marbles in the diamond mine don't take me down welcome to the diamond mine don't tell me that you're cursed with a yardstick for the universe don't be afraid of what you'll find
TOXIC AVENGER
out of the rust and into the slime everybody knows that he's here for mankind toxic avenger would you believe-a mouse to a man! no one from this planet can realize his plan toxic avenger, toxic avenger out of the dark and into the light mercilessly devastating his enemies, turning wrong to right toxic avenger, toxic avenger but nobody loves him and he's such a lonely man all they ask from him is to guard this promised land out of the rust and into the slime everybody thinks that he's out of his mind toxic avenger
ZEPPELINA
i saw you on the corner yesterday i couldn't think of anything to say but you just walked right by me so i felt that i was standing in your way i saw you at a party just last week i tried to talk but i could hardly speak but you jsut walked right by me so i ran to mix myself another drink zeppelina, you are all that is dear to me zeppelina, i'm so proud that you're in my family tree i wish that i was handsome and was wise but you won't listen to my alibis i'll have to wait for halloween so that way i can see you in disguise zeppelina, you are all that is dear to me zeppelina, i'm so proud to have you in my family tree i used to dream about you in my sleep that when i woke up you'd be mine to keep but now that i am married to you i've been counting pigs instead of sheep
STUCK IN A CONDO WITH MARLON BRANDO
i'm stuck inside a condo with mr. marlon brando he tells me, "get the butter," sounds just like my mother he wasn't nice to connie his son, he shot somebody for messin' with his daughter just like the godfather i'm stuck inside a condo with mr. marlon brando he's heavy and he's hairy he's really scaring me...marlon brando well, i saw him in a movie he used to be so groovy now he's eating mashed potatoes he's a human winnebago i'm stuck inside a condo with mr. marlon brando he's a heavy dingleberry he's really scary...marlon brando domino's delivery has brought me to him cheese and pepperoni, watch him shovel it in he's giving me a lecture on the wages of sin mr. brando, please show me the door
JUST SAY YES
you say there's someplace that you gotta be find peace of mind and serenity with a little help from modern chemistry 25 dollars can buy it just say yes...yes just say yes...yes you're sliding down that slippery slope you're the very reason why they call it dope yellin' for someone to throw yo uthe rope tell all your friends they should try it just say yes...yes just say yes...yes i don't know what they're saying russian roulette i'm playing it's straight i should be staying inside a chapel praying my conscience i'll be saving for now i'll just keep saying yes now i'm age 43 waiting by the phone for a new kidney i wish i didn't have to hurt to take a pee that's not gonna stop me just say yes...yes just say yes...yes just say yes
MAKE IT SO
set the controls for the neutral zone-make it so where no one's gone before is where we'll boldly go kunta kinte's blind and he's at the controls, oh no! it's hard to navigate with an air filter stuck on your nose chorus make it so live long and prosper make it so gold-press latinem make it so assimilate all of them make it so secure the bridge 'cause we're moving faster than light alien gods of cardassia are happy tonight we're flying through the stars and we're hitting the bars, all right! data's going to tell me that the romulans will put up a fight chorus we're going to fly the friendly skies take a word now to the wise where we're going no one knows the enterprise is out of control won't you make it so like edgar allen poe or maybe g.i. joe? hey everybody, let's go!
I'M ON CRACK
i'm on crack i'm on crack it's giving me a heart a-ta-ta-tack i'm on crack i used to hang around at the waterslide now i'm taking my strawberry for a ride i used to have firends, now i'm a loner 'cause a twenty dollar rock is giving me a boner on crack i'm on crack it's giving me a heart a-ta-ta-tack i'm on crack crack crack crack straight shooter get the chore boy dorsal rooter used to be my pride and joy face of fire don't look back richard pryor, copper wire burn that mutha 'till it turns black i used to hang around at the waterslide now i'm taking my strawberry for a ride i used to be a dude, now i'm a homey if you don't like that then go ahead and blow me on crack i'm on crack it's giving me a heart a-ta-ta-tack i'm on crack i'm doing lines all the time john belushi was a friend of mine can't relate, i'm losin' weight the thin white duke is on my favorite plate a dummy line doin' crime standing on the street selling my behind grinding my jaw, breakin' the law stealing tens and twenties from my ma and pa to buy crack i'm on crack i'm on crack i'm on crack
OH BOY!
i feel like a king i feel like a king oh boy! oh boy! i feel like a king i'm eating all my greens oh boy! oh boy! oh, oh my oh my life's a piece of pie oh boy! oh boy! i'm sittin' on the throne playin' the ramones oh boy! oh boy! axl rose on my empty v i don't know why he's not as pretty as me but i'm still being who i wanna be, oh boy! i'm livin' my life, i'm livin' my life oh boy! oh boy! i'm livin' my life, i'm lookin' for a wife oh boy! oh boy! stanley got a rash, he's growin' a moustache oh boy! oh boy! chuck wagon got too weird, the others disappeared oh boy! oh boy! i feel it shakin' outside it doesn't matter oh momma, momma, oh boy! oh boy! i'm swingin' oh boy!
ROADKILL
i'm drivin' my pickup truck i'm feelin' mean and i'm getting drunk i drive all over town find a little critter and i run it down hit the brights and watch 'em freeze turn a little animal into head-cheese oh, it's roadkill drivin' around in my automobile for roadkill ain't gonna stop 'til i get my fill out there by the side of the road might be a bunny or maybe a toad it's guts are hanging out only one eye and part of a snout i still don't think it's dead put it in reverse and squish it's head oh, it's roadkill drivin' around in my automobile for roadkill climb out of the cab and hand me a drill roadkill ain't gonna pay their hospital bills roadkill kill a little critter just to get my thrill are you gonna run 'em down right now? yeah, i'm gonna run 'em down right now if you drive 405 you won't find anything left alive suckin' suds while i'm makin' time squashin' little animals flat as a dime these critters don't have a prayer i just ran over smokey the bear now he's roadkill drivin' around in my automobile for roadkill climb out of the cab and hand me a drill roadkill ain't gonna pay their hospital bills roadkill kill a little critter just to get my thrill i love roadkill hit the lights squeeze 'em in my sights somebody's pet gonna need a vet ran one over but he ain't dead yet this truck's a killin' machine pedal to the metal and i'm feelin' free somebody's kitty's gonna need a hysterectomy i love roadkill
HOUSE OF RAOUL
wake me up in the morning 'cause we're going to the house of raoul i'm giving you a warning tell me, are you a man or a mouse? house of raoul, house of raoul i was cookin' cabbage in the house of raoul gonna get evicted from the house of raoul tell me when we're leavin' 'cause we're rocking at the house of blue lights while the train is leavin' i'm drinkin' beer and watching the fights house of raoul, house of raoul i was cookin' cabbage in the house of raoul won't you please evict me from the house of raoul?
SONG OF THE DAWN
wake from your sleep all you weary ones who are leary of the night look to the east all you dreary ones who are waiting for the light dawn is breaking and a new day is born the world is singing the song of the dawn birds are singing hear them welcome the morn they're sweetly singing the song of the dawn yesterday the sky was grey look this morning they're blue the smiling sun tells everyone come and start life anew sing hallelujah for the dark night is gone the world is singing the song of the dawn sing hallelujah for the dark night is gone the world is singing the song of the dawn
Dawn Of The Dickies
1. Where Did His Eye Go?
2. Fan Mail
3. Manny, Moe & Jack
4. Infidel Zombie
5. I'm A Chollo
6. Nights In White Satin
7. (I'm Stuck In A Pagoda With) Tricia Toyota
8. I've Got A Splitting Hedachi
9. Attack Of The Mole Men
10. She Loves Me Not
WHERE DID HIS EYE GO?
he used to be a star of the stage and screen but now he only sees half of everything a funny little man with straight black hair he lost it in an accident but he doesn't care so,* where'd his eye go i don't know where did his eye go i don't know but nothing can stop him now i saw him last night on the telethon he's doing candyman with his glasses on and then i saw him sing what kind of fool am i he whipped off his glasses and i looked at his eye but, * (break) we really love that boy he's brought us so much joy he even used to be a goy but things are different now and i'm still wonderin how he'll keep an eye out for me now and then but does he see in 3d where did his eye go is it lookin at me he used to be a star of the stage and screen but now he only sees half of everything a funny little man with straight black hair he lost it in an accident but he doesn't care
FAN MAIL
dear sirs, to whom this may concern there's facts id like to learn so many things i wanna know especially trivial info paraphernalia badges and regalia please send me everything cuz i am interested in you and every thing you do i find myself at all your shows could you tell me where you buy your clothes could you sign my little sisters face put your signature any place and please send me a bio *cuz we've got fan mail we really really read it fan mail we really really need it i sent you my letter now i want a reply you don't know any better than you won't take your time with my fan mail so i would like to know just if and when you'll be in town again so that i could meet with you and brag at my friends at school have you been all around the world have you seen every kind of girl or are you from the other side cause you you can't believe everything that you read with the hypocrysy and the greed the papers all the things that they say they don't tell me anything anyway that's why i've gotta get it straight from you concerning your situation without an obligation my fan mail(oohs and aahs) what's this i find to my surprise those fans that i idolized no longer seem to exist now tell what can be the cause of this perhaps it could be their egos i tell you heaven only knows i didn't even get a newsletter fan mail send it out to me fan mail special delivery
MANNY, MOE AND JACK
when your on the road and your car wont pull that load and your wheels aren't feeling fine well i know of this joint where they'll check your plugs and points i know these guys they're three good friends of mine *manny moe and jack they know what i'm after manny moe and jack they know what i'm after they're manny moe and jack once your inside they wont take you for a ride they got a good deal for you and your automobile for the right price they will sell you fuzzy dice and leather hand grips for your steering whee-al * if its tires you want they got a lot for you dunlop, firestone, pirelli too (8x)many moe and jack! they know what i'm after
INFIDEL ZOMBIE
well i've been running for a while and i know that i'm next in line she's been gettin trigger happy and i've heard so far that she's killed 9 well it's a complicated tale with a price on my head and a sharp looking agent who wants to find me certified dead *she's an infidel zombie she gets depressed with duress a love that cannot find me let me tell you i don't believe it there's a bullet with my name on it now they caught me once while i was out messin around they put me in cemented wedges but i didn't drown i'm back on the streets and running for my life again but i know they'll tear it down and they're gonna start to close in
I'M A CHOLLO
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NIGHTS IN WHITE SATIN
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TRICIA TOYOTA
i came home one night tuned my t.v. in my favorite show was about to begin as i was scanning across the dial i saw her read the news with delectable style then i was sure that within a while *i was stuck stuck in a pagoda with tricia toyota i'm stuck we were watching abe vigoda then every thing will be fine later that night we went for a drive and i can say i never felt more alive taking in the sights of old tokyo with tricia by my side and money to blow i knew then i never wanted to let her go *chorus lead *chorus always in a daze always in a dream always find that things are not what they seem a little asian goddess came from up above i thank you nbc for sending my love and tricia is the one i've been dreaming of *chorus
I'VE GOT A SPLITTING HEDACHI
well it's a chilly chilly evening and you're burning with desire get it up, get it up, get it up and go i've been doin calestenics just to try to get in shape now get it up, get it up, get it up and go the set is on and i'm watching a show but i can do it if you really must know i should of known by you actions what you're disposition's geared for but i've had a busy morning and my cranium is getting sore *because i've got a splitting hedachi and i don't wanna serve you now oh, i've got a splitting hedachi now you said that you would give me head but i'd rather watch johnny instead well its pushin 2:30 and you're feelin really dirty yeah you got my hand on my member and you're tryin to get a tremor yeah i can't stand it now the pain is so bad but its the worst thing a guy ever had *
ATTACK OF THE MOLE MEN
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SHE LOVES ME, SHE LOVES ME NOT
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The Incredible Shrinking Dickies
1. Give It Back
2. Poodle Party
3. Paranoid
4. She
5. Mental Ward
6. Eve Of Destruction
7. You Drive Me Ape (You Big Gorilla)
8. Waterslide
9. Walk Like An Egg
10. Curb Job
11. Shake & Bake
GIVE IT BACK
one day i was walking to school i saw these bullies and they thought they were cool they put me down and they pushed me around they stole my books and they called me a clown *give it back baaaaccckk give it back you better give it back i went to school yeah i went anyway i said i'd show them another day i showed them all what i could do i got us thrown right out of school *i got em back baaack yeah i got em back you know i got em back ba ba ba back (break) that night i was walking home and when they caught me i was all alone a bloody nose and a broken bone i thought those brats were going to leave me alone
POODLE PARTY
i want you tonight won't you please come over i don't like your looks but then again,i'm not sober *oh doggy doo you're the sleaziest oh lorna doon you're the easiest except for me come over tonight and show me some good fun yeah remember when you leave don't tell anyone *oh doggy doo you're the sleaziest oh poodle chew you're the easiest except for me ruff ruff-ruff(3x)
PARANOID
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SHE
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MENTAL WARD
get in your cell don't talk back get in your cell or i'll put you on a rack get in your cell don't talk back get in your cell or i'll put you on a rack *i gotta get out of this mental ward the stink in my cell has got me totally floored i'm so sick and tired of being ignored yeah my mental ward repeat first verse *chorus lead *chorus mental ward it's my mental ward mental ward it's my mental ward *chorus
EVE OF DESTRUCTION
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YOU DRIVE ME APE (YOU BIG GORILLA)
you drive me ape you big gorilla you drive me ape, ape i wanna tell ya swinging around from every town to town i swing around and i never come down city is a jungle now this is it every time i look at you i go ape shit *chorus cruising through the trees with the birds and the bees baby, baby monkey, i ain't so hard to please cruising through the trees with the birds and the bees baby, baby monkey, you won't get no disease lead *chorus
WATERSLIDE
i got my mat i'm gonna take a dive i might get wet but i'll still be alive it only cost 3 bones to prove my masculinity but when i'm riding i'm free *i'm on the waterslide (woh-oh) i'm on the waterslide (let's go) i'm on the waterslide watch me go in the shoot i'll do the loop to loop but in the end i'll wind up in the soup last one to finish has to pay for every ride but if i'm last you'll let me slide * chorus lead *chorus go down backwards on the waterslide lane 5 on the waterslide lane 6 on the waterslide i'm getting wet on the waterlide
WALK LIKE AN EGG
i'm just a loneley egg peel me down i'm not afraid what will we do what will we do what will we do walk like an egg yankee shake a leg, shake a leg, shake a leg c'mon and walk like an egg yankee shake a leg, shake a leg, shake a leg *i'm just a lonely egg and i'm an egghead peel me down and i'm white and naked everybody thinks that i'm just a joke baby, baby the joke's on you waddling around egg is in town a fellow's gotta waddle he's hittin' full throttle *chorus lead *chorus
CURB JOB
gimme a bone i gotta get away you better gimme a bone there'e no way i'm gonna feed your face *aaaoh i'm gonna give you a curb job aaaoh i'm gonna break your face aaaoh i'm gonna give you a curb job aaaoh i'm gonna break your face gimme a bone i don't have one today gimme a bone there's no way i'm gonna play your game *chorus
SHAKE & BAKE
now i got the hook and now i got the bait now i got the bait so don't slow me down now i got a car and now i gotta girl now i got a car to go around the world you better shake and bake now i got the hook and now i got the bait now i got the bait so don't slow me down, down, down now i got a car i got me a jaguar now i got a car to go around the world
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